*Eats snack while looking for another snack*
1. Sometimes I’m hungry and other times I’m asleep.
2. What do you call a sad coffee? Depresso.
3. Just binge watched a whole pizza. ~@meganamram
4. My rap name is Lil Hungry.
5. I hate when I try to order a salad and my mouth says “I’ll have a double Quarter Pounder with Cheese.” ~@jimgaffigan
6. Turning vegan is a big missed steak.
7. I followed my heart and it led me to the fridge.
8. Avocado: not ripe
Avocado: not ripe
Avocado: not ripe
Avocado: I’M RIPE NOW
Avocado: okay you were in the bathroom so I rotted.
9. If you think eggplant is good, you should try any other food, it’s much better. ~jakeandamir
10. Going for a walk because I want to stay healthy. Taking along a box of M&Ms because let’s be honest here.
11. Carrots are a great thing to eat when you are hungry and want to stay that way. ~@marawritesstuff
12. Just ate a salad when I could’ve eaten a cheeseburger. Where’s my reward? I should get an award, right? Maybe a cheeseburger.
13. Not sure if I actually like movies or just like looking at something while I eat popcorn. ~@dawn_m_
14. I’m not good at cooking, but I’m good at being around when food appears. ~@robertbuscemi
15. “You just ate Chinese food, am I right?” – The world’s worst fortune cookie. ~@sadmonsters
16. Most people don’t realize this, but you can eat organic, gluten-free food without telling everyone around you. ~@jennyjohnsonHi5
17. Someone who drank too much coffee decided on the spelling of the word “Coffee.” ~@jimgaffigan
18. When one door closes, another one opens. And then closes. And then opens. It’s the fridge. It’s me in front of the fridge. ~@abbyhasissues
19. My new diet is to pay people to tell me how thin I look. ~@michaelianblack
20. Hello. It’s me. I was wondering if after all these years you’d like to eat. ~@brent2smith
Would you like a second helping? Click here to see 30 hilarious one-liners.