“Oh, you know, I’m a designer. I work with materials like leftover chicken and sofa stuffings. It’s highly glamorous.”
Being a Garbage Designer is only one of the many absurd jobs that exist. It’s true, not everyone is into the same old 9-to-5.
1) Master Lego Builder
If you thought your 3-year-old sister qualifies, Lego doesn’t think so. They’re highly selective and require a bachelor’s degree in architecture or engineering.
2) Professional YouTube Eater
You wouldn’t exactly be eating YouTube. This consists of posting videos of yourself munching. It’s been popular in South Korea for years – search for “mukbangers” and see for yourself.
3) Chocolate Beer Specialist
When we found out about these, we thought they were just professional eaters who wanted to sound fancy. However, then we thought about how many hours they spend sitting on the couch, testing out different flavors and discovering which chicken wings don’t go well with them, and we realized it’s a whole separate specialty within professional eating.
4) Garbage Designer
This isn’t exactly assembling garbage into apparel. Apparently they’ll be working on a form of recycling called “upcycling” in 2030 and will actually be key players in the environmental field. This is also the only job that sounds crazy but is probably pretty normal.
5) Bread Scientist
We’re not sure what this entails but just imagine the day he finds out he’s allergic to gluten.
6) Crime Scene Cleaner
Listen, somebody has to do it. Maybe it’s not that bad if you pretend it’s ketchup.
7) Dog Food Tester
You know those commercials with the dogs running through evergreen fields, telling you how much they enjoy their pebbly food? We bet they’re responsible for half of the up-and-coming dog food testers.
8) Professional Apologizer
Because sometimes it is too late to say sorry now – by yourself. Luckily for you, if you hire someone to apologize for you, they do all the dirty work and then you only end up being hated ten times more.
9) Vomit Cleaner
But it isn’t just any vomit. Can you imagine what every amusement park would look like if no one cleaned the breakfast you just expelled on the roller coaster? If you let that image sit in your mind for a moment, you’ll see that vomit cleaners have a very meaningful job, because they ensure that all you see is merriness and cotton candy.
10) Professional Pusher
When the trains are packed, some people have a fear that they won’t be able to squish in during rush hour. Japan has taken care of this problem. They have hired staff push everyone onto the train. Best way to ensure that no body parts are left behind!